Exodus
by Annerb
Summary: Saying goodbye. This wasn’t how they thought it would end. Future AU, angst, Sam/Jack.
1. Prologue

Title: Exodus  
Author: Annerb  
Rating: Teens (adult themes)  
Summary: Saying goodbye. This wasn't how they thought it would end.  
Classifications: Drama, Angst, Team, S/J, Future, AU  
Season: 8 (takes off after Threads)

Disclaimer: The characters mentioned in this story are the property of Showtime and Gekko Film Corp. The Stargate, SG-1, the Goa'uld and all other characters who have appeared in the series STARGATE SG-1 together with the names, titles and backstory are the sole copyright property of MGM-UA Worldwide Television, Gekko Film Corp, Glassner/Wright Double Secret Productions and Stargate SG-I Prod. Ltd. Partnership. This fanfic is not intended as an infringement upon those rights and solely meant for entertainment. All other characters, the story idea and the story itself are the sole property of the author.

Author's Note: Forget the Ori and travels into the past. What happens when the Stargate Program is disclosed to Earth? Where do our beloved characters go from there? Dark view of the future…I know. But what can I say? I just re-read Orwell, so blame him. Thanks to the fab Mab for her snarky grins and encouragement.

_**Exodus**_

Prologue

This wasn't how Jack had thought it would turn out.

Not that he'd ever actually given it too much thought. It had always been a distant, nebulous goal in the back of his mind, because to do what he did every day, he had to believe that one day everything would be resolved. That one day there would be results for all the hard work they had done. But he never actually sat down and laid out plans for his life. It seemed too much like tempting fate.

But then it was there. He'd been sitting on his dock with his old team, fishing calmly like the fate of the world no longer rested on their shoulders. Which it didn't, he'd been forced to remind himself as Daniel handed him another beer. The world had been saved. Check it off the list.

Jack mentally ran through the list that he kept in his head:

_Goa'uld? Dead._

_Replicators? Disintegrated._

_Freaky Ancient Weapon Capable of Destroying All Life? Destroyed._

_Refuses-to-be-killed, half-ascended Anubis? Mysteriously, but permanently neutered (so he had been assured by Daniel)._

_Jaffa? Freed._

_Extremely secret and deeply classified SGC? Public knowledge._

It was difficult to comprehend, especially the last one. With the threat of the Goa'uld and Replicators gone and their good buddies the Asgard once again capable of watching out for their Protected Planets, the SGC had achieved their goals and President Hayes had deemed it a good time to come clean to America and the rest of the world about what exactly those strange lights in the sky had been over the last few years. Oh, and by the way, we're not alone in the Universe.

_Really_ difficult to comprehend.

But not as difficult to comprehend as the world's response to this wondrous revelation.

Even if Jack _had_ spent a great deal of time contemplating the question of 'what now,' this was not what he would have come up with. Not that he was a starry-eyed optimist or something (that had really been Daniel's forte). He didn't expect that all over Earth everyone would step back and say, 'Hey. We're not the only life forms in the Universe. We should really try to get along better. And maybe we should get rid of concepts like money and racism and genocide and all get together and sing Kumbaya.' He wasn't that crazy.

But neither, in a million years, would he have thought he'd be doing what he was doing now: sitting behind a desk in an increasingly depopulated SGC, skimming the latest reports from the warfronts. He didn't think he would be carefully searching lists of the dead and fallen for familiar names, men and women he had once commanded. He never thought he would be morbid enough to keep a list of all the SG-teams from the golden days of the SGC and slowly mark their names off with red ink as they fell on foreign soil.

Not alien soil, either, but terran earth.

Earth had discovered the Galaxy only to turn back on itself in an amazing display of self-destruction. It boggled the mind.

And what were they fighting for? Could anyone even remember anymore?

Jack could remember, mainly because he'd had nothing but time sitting behind his desk underneath a mountain. The SGC had once been the front line of Earth's war with the Goa'uld, but now it was nothing more than a remote base of operations with only one standing order: to secure a continuous supply of naquadah.

And while some might debate Jack's gullibility, he was in no way naïve enough not to comprehend the purpose of that naquadah.

It seemed that Earth needed saving again, but this time from itself.


	2. Left Behind

**_Part 1: Left Behind_**

Predictably, Teal'c was the first to leave.

Less than two weeks after they returned from Jack's cabin, Teal'c packed a small bundle of his belongings and departed for Dakara and his new position on the Council of the Free Jaffa Nation. It was a moment of little fanfare, but deeply meaningful nonetheless.

The original SG-1 stood together in the gate room one last time, quietly reflecting on the first time they had stood as a team on the ramp eight years previously when they had all stumbled upon a seemingly hopeless battle. But here they all stood, improbably victorious and all more whole than not, even after years of hardships, loss and setbacks. They had actually achieved what they had set out to do.

A heady moment, indeed.

Though there was sadness at Teal'c's permanent exodus from Earth, they all knew they could still see him and to be honest, nothing had really been the same since Jack had been promoted anyway. It just finally seemed like time for them to stop holding on so tightly to the ghost of SG-1.

Not that it made letting go any easier.

As Teal'c bowed one final time at them before stepping into the waiting wormhole, none of them had any reason to be anything other than optimistic about a future that had finally come.

Little did they know that his would just be the first of many departures.

They disclosed the existence of the Stargate on a Tuesday. By Thursday Jack was already tired of seeing his face on TV. He thought it was good thing that none of them had lives to begin with, because this was just going to make everything more difficult. Sam was convinced that the media would get tired of them eventually and Daniel seemed charmingly unaware that the scrutiny even existed.

Even Jack could have learned to accept it as the price for a new era for Earth.

But then the fighting had started. First it had been nothing more than nit-picking over who got to sit where at the Stargate talks being held, of all places, in Zurich, Switzerland. It had escalated quickly from there. It seemed that a lot of nations had a big problem with being lied to for so long. Mumbles of 'American Imperialism' and conspiracy could be heard everywhere.

Jack did his best to ignore it all, never having been a fan of politics to begin with, though the urge to just bang all their heads together did crop up occasionally. But as long as they left the SGC alone, he could handle the bickering.

Six months after disclosure, though, the talks stalled and America was threatening to pull out all together. After all, they were just doing everyone a favor letting them know in the first place. They didn't owe anyone anything.

Jack did his best to ignore it and the growing unease he felt in his gut.

But then one day Daniel was standing in front of his desk, telling him that he was leaving the SGC.

"I can help," he said. "I know I can."

Jack didn't want to let him go. And not just because he was a valuable asset to the program or that he had, once again, just come back from a brush with death. But Daniel had come to his office with a face already lined with concern and just said 'Please.' Daniel could never stand by and watch suffering, especially when he was convinced that there was a way he could stop it.

How could Jack say no to that?

He felt his head nod in acceptance, even as his stomach began to ache.

Daniel's apartment was carefully packed up. Out of the corner of his eye Jack watched Sam lovingly bundle up the soft leather bound journals that were a tangible reminder of SG-1's adventures together. He wondered if she was thinking about all the times they had done this after Daniel's deaths.

Jack knew that Daniel was just moving on, not dying, but it still felt like it.

The dusty tweed suits and worn flannels that Jack carefully piled into a box reminded him of a floppy haired archeologist who had once imparted a great truth to him in a sandy, dark cave halfway across the galaxy.

Life itself was more than enough reason to live.

He sealed the box with a strip of tape and while no one was looking, he slipped a pack of Kleenex into Daniel's pocket.

Jack stood with Sam in the airport and waved one last time, trying not to think of his relief that he at least he still had her.

The talks resumed, with Daniel now in attendance, using his new found fame as best he could, trying to be the voice of reason. Jack had seen him talk his way out of a million different situations, but his own race seemed to be more suspicious of him than the average alien. It was hard for Jack to comprehend.

But Daniel was never one to give up.

Somewhere along the line, though, it had become about more than an alien metal circle hidden deep under a mountain in Colorado (not that anyone knew the actual location of the famed gate). It was if every grievance ever felt by any group of people had been brought back to the surface and the Stargate was the catalyst.

Everything escalated so quickly, however, that one day Daniel was mediating talks and the next Jack was watching with complete surprise as American embassies all over the world were evacuated and American borders were closed. He could no longer ignore the gathering storm.

Soon after, Jack began to have transfer papers fly over his desk like there was no tomorrow. He had called anyone and everyone that would talk to him, demanding to know what the hell they thought they were doing transferring his highly trained officers away from the SGC and into front line units throughout the world.

He had been told in no uncertain terms that the defense of American sanctity was the top priority. Interstellar exploration was a luxury that the U.S. government could no longer afford. It had taken the President threatening to relieve Jack of his command to get him to finally accept defeat, though for a moment Jack had let himself wonder why exactly that would be a bad thing. What was he really doing here anymore anyway?

But Jack couldn't leave.

So for four months he helplessly watched the growing conflict and increasing political pressure on the President gradually bleed the SGC dry. He was only allowed to keep four teams for retrieval of off-world elements, primarily naquadah.

Then the unthinkable had happened. No one could ever point to a specific event, but one day Jack had woken to a speech by President Hayes declaring war against those who threatened American self-determination and safety. The lines were drawn. In reality it was nothing more than a few border skirmishes here and there with very few casualties, but Jack knew it wouldn't take much to escalate.

It seemed that World War Three had begun. Hadn't they once called World War One the 'war to end all wars'? A bit premature in the end it seemed. Humans just never learned their lessons.

Jack couldn't help but think that if Anubis was still alive, he would be laughing his half-ascended ass off.

But it was not until nearly three months since the advent of war that Jack received the transfer papers that finally brought home just how real this war was.

He didn't call her into his office, instead he found himself wandering down to her lab. Pausing in her open doorway, he stood for long moments watching her work, leaning over some diagnostic tool with her brow furrowed in concentration. The unguarded moment did not last long, however, because like some sixth sense she realized he was watching her and glanced up from her tools.

"Sir," she said somewhat breathlessly as she turned off the machine she had been working on. Her pleasure at seeing him faded somewhat quickly, however, as she took in his grim visage and the folder clenched rather menacingly in his fist. Her bright smile of greeting slipped off her face and she sank down rather gracelessly into a nearby chair, obviously having already worked out the purpose of this little visit.

Jack took a few steps into the room. "I'm sorry, Carter. I did everything I could think of, even threatened to resign…but that doesn't seem to have the clout it once did."

She tried to force an unconcerned smile on her face. "I'm sure you did everything you could, sir, and I appreciate it, but we both knew this would happen eventually."

He watched with an aching sense of loss as she began to hide behind her good soldier façade. These last few months nothing had overtly changed between them, but they were just both far too aware of the fact that they were all the other had left. It had inevitably led to a greater openness between them, but here she was, shutting back down again. Shielding herself.

For once, he almost wished for her to get pissed and chuck something at a wall. Or at least looked like she cared that she was leaving. "You don't have to pretend that this doesn't suck, Carter."

Her lips twitched and for a moment Jack was almost convinced he had seen a flash of panic and sadness, but then she dropped her head and began playing absently with some tool Jack couldn't identify.

"When?" she asked softly after long moments of silence.

Jack sighed. "Immediately." Things moved quickly these days and these would be Carter's final hours in this lab.

Sam nodded her understanding. "Where?"

Here was the real kicker. Jack handed her the folder, waiting until she looked back up at him to answer. "I don't know," he said. "Apparently I don't have high enough clearance."

Her mouth popped open for a moment at the paradoxical statement before she slammed it back shut and reached for the folder, her fingers briefly tangling with his.

Hers wasn't the first departure, but Jack felt like it was the last fatal slamming door.

And still he stayed.

He drove her to the airport. She made him swear to water her plants and drive her car every once and a while so the battery wouldn't die. She promised to send for her stuff when she finally got settled at her final destination. Jack knew she never would.

They stood silently in line as she checked her bags. Twenty minutes later they were standing in front of the security check point. She was shuffling uncomfortably from foot to foot, undoubtedly searching for something to say. Jack didn't make it any easier for her.

"If you see Teal'c or Daniel, say goodbye for me," she finally managed to say. There had been no time to contact either of them. "And tell them not to worry about me."

Jack knew this last bit was more for his benefit than theirs. He let a cynical smirk cross his face for just a moment, realizing that she was more concerned about leaving him behind than her new mysterious posting. "They know you can take care of yourself," he said, playing along.

She nodded briefly once, looking for all the world like she didn't have a clue what to do next. So she simply said, "I'll keep in touch," even when they both knew that it was going to be nearly impossible for her to do so.

"You do that," Jack replied, not sure how to make this easier.

Still they stood several feet apart, until Sam finally seemed to concede defeat. "Goodbye, sir," she said.

Jack refused to wince at the formal farewell, instead trying to focus on being immensely glad that she hadn't said anything about it having been an honor to serve with him or some crap. "Bye, Carter," he said instead, trying, rather unsuccessfully, to imbue the simple words with…something.

In the next instant she was walking away, joining the ranks of people pulling out laptops and removing shoes in the long security checkpoint. He watched her golden head until it was no longer visible before shoving his hands in his pockets and heading back out to the entrance. He didn't make it much further than around the corner, though, before he found himself standing still in the middle of the hall, staring at his toes.

The familiar urge to just do something began to build in him, but his feet would not move from the spot where he stood. Suddenly he was the one standing still while everything and everyone spiraled away from him, leaving him behind. He was just about to force himself do something, undoubtedly something rash, when he heard his name called out behind him.

"Jack."

He barely had time to register the sound of her voice before he broke his immobility and turned around to see her walking briskly towards him. And then her arms were wrapping around him and after only the briefest hesitation born out of habit he did the same.

It was nice to hold her for no other reason than that he just wanted to, and not because one of them had almost died and they felt they deserved a moment of weakness. This was something else entirely. He forced himself to relax and remember that it was okay for him to touch her now. He was allowed to do this, allowed to feel and touch and want. Even though it meant she was going away.

But all his mind could focus on was that fact that he no longer had any control. He had no say in her career or her safety. He couldn't be there to make sure she had the back up she needed. He wouldn't be there and he didn't even have the clearance to know where 'there' was. It scared the hell out of him.

He shook the disturbing thoughts off, reminding himself that Carter was more than capable of taking care of herself, forcibly refocusing his mind on the feel of her in his arms, knowing that this was the closest either of them would get to saying, 'I'll miss you.' Or to speaking of the inevitable appearance of yet another barrier between them and their vague hopes for 'something.'

"I'll be here when you get back," he said. And that was the closest he would get to saying that he would wait as long as it took, that he still hoped. But she understood. He knew she did.

When she finally pulled out of his arms, he watched her walk away and bit down mercilessly on the horrible feeling that he was never going to see her again.

He drove to her house and talked to her plants, knowing she would appreciate it.

The next day, he went to work, sat behind his desk and tried to carry on.


	3. Falling Backwards

**_Part 2: Falling Backwards_**

He didn't hear from Sam for a month.

One night as he lay staring at his ceiling in an absurd parody of actually getting a good night's sleep, the phone rang. Jack almost didn't answer it, not really wanting to know what the hell could have gone so wrong to deserve a call at three in the morning. But some left over feeling of responsibility drove him to pick it up.

"O'Neill," he practically barked into the phone.

There was a long pause and Jack was about to hang up when she finally spoke. "Sir."

Jack sat up in bed. "Carter?"

"I can't talk long, sir, I just wanted…" she trailed off, her voice hushed as if she was trying not to be overheard. "How are you doing?"

Jack got the distinct impression that she wasn't even supposed to be on the phone. He suppressed the urge to demand to know where the hell she had been for four weeks and what she was doing. What could she possibly be doing that required this much secrecy? "I'm doing fine. Same old stuff, you know. You?"

"Good, good," she said rather quickly.

An awkward pause stretched long. They both knew they couldn't speak about work, but there was little else for them to discuss that wasn't taboo.

"I should probably go…," Sam said eventually, her discomfort audible in her voice.

There were a million things Jack wanted to ask, but he knew he couldn't put her in that position, especially considering how paranoid the government in general was getting these days. But he also knew that he had to keep her talking, he needed to hear her voice. He opened his mouth and said the first thing he could think of.

"I miss you."

The moment the words were out, Jack wanted to pull them back into his mouth, no matter how true they were. His embarrassment increased with every passing second as Sam remained silent.

"Uh…look, Carter, I guess I shouldn't have said-."

She cut him off midway. "I miss you, too," she said in barely more than a whisper. "God, I wish I could talk to you about-," she started, frustration clear in her voice.

"Don't, Carter," Jack interrupted. "I'm not worth that. Just be careful. That's enough for me."

Jack heard some background voices over the phone. "Damn," Sam swore, "I'm sorry, I have to go."

"I know. Thanks for calling," Jack said, trying to make it clear that he understood. None of this was her fault.

"I'll call again when I get a chance."

"I'll be here," Jack promised. "Take care of yourself, Carter."

"You, too," she said softly. "Bye."

"Bye, Carter."

The line went dead, but Jack sat holding the phone until the sun dawned.

* * *

Four months after Sam's transfer, Jack woke to the news that America, obviously deciding that the stalemate war could be ended by a brute show of strength, dropped a naquadria bomb in the hinterlands of China. 

Jack couldn't help but think of what he had once said to Jonas.

_All right, let me be clear about something. I think this is the point Daniel was trying to make. A weapon of mass destruction can only be used for one thing. Now, you might think it will ensure peace and freedom, but I guarantee you it'll never have the effect you're hoping for until you use it, at least once. Now, just for the record, the reason we want that stuff is because we think it could be used to create defense shields. But you just go ahead, blow yourselves to hell with it._

He had been so pissed that the Kelownans refused to listen to someone from a planet that knew weapons of mass destruction never wrought anything but more war.

But Earth never seems to have learned that lesson either.

At first it seemed that America had made its point. The peace talks had resumed briefly, but not for long.

In a move so surprising and almost foolhardy to the point that Jack couldn't help but be impressed, the rebelling nations refused to bow down to the bullish move. They knew they had inferior stuff, but they would fight anyway, almost as if the bomb had just proven the intentions of America to rule the whole planet through their monopoly on the Stargate.

Even England, France and Russia were beginning to look at America with new eyes.

Though never outright admitted to by anyone in the American government, it was clear that the bomb's destructive power had been more than they were prepared for. They had purposively chosen a relatively unpopulated area, but a bad combination of not quite hitting the right spot and not accounting for its astounding power ensured that a city of 60,000 was wiped out in the blink of an eye.

Jack wanted to believe it had been unintentional, but faith was harder to come by every day. The government's paranoia and tightening grip was such that they even began to eye their own citizens warily. People began to disappear off the streets, being held in undisclosed locations for indeterminate amounts of time. The government didn't even need a reason anymore, let alone probable cause.

Jack wondered how much longer until they all were all implanted with tracking devices or had monitoring systems in their homes.

Daniel was among the group traveling to witness the fallout of America's new toy. It was the only reason he survived the retaliatory attack on the Geneva Stargate Talks. None of the Ambassadors survived. Including a high ranking American General that had traveled to the talks in hopes of talking some sense into anyone who would listen.

It wasn't how George Hammond was meant to fall.

More blood than ever began to spill all over the planet. Jack started the grisly tradition of keeping tabs on all the former SG personnel, feeling a fierce swoop of anger every time another one of his former airmen fell. Such a waste of life.

And still Jack sat behind his desk, doing his duty, even as a burning lava of anger began to consume him piece by piece.

* * *

A few weeks after the disasters in Geneva and China, Jack woke to someone pounding on his door in the middle of the night. Daniel was standing on his porch, seemingly oblivious to the rain pouring down over him. Jack hadn't seen him in almost a year and he was barely recognizable as the man he once knew. 

"They won't listen," he said in a gravely voice.

Jack had to bodily pull Daniel into his house, helping him out of his wet clothes and into some of Jack's old sweats. Bundled up on the couch, Jack couldn't help but notice that Daniel looked like a small child. He stared off into space as if suffering from deep shock, and Jack realized that he was.

"I tried to stop it, to make them understand, but people just keep dying," Daniel said in a far off voice.

"It's not your fault, Daniel. None of us wanted this."

"Everything's gone, Jack. We bomb, they bomb and no one seems to care anymore. Hammond's dead, Teal'c's gone, Sam's disappeared, Sha're…," he turned to Jack and his eyes seemed to momentarily clear. "I can't do this anymore."

One could only imagine what Daniel must have seen in the last few weeks. People torn to pieces, towns leveled and then to go back to try to convince people to stop only to realize that no one was ever going to listen. People's fear, anger and thirst for revenge were now beyond diplomacy. How could anyone ignore how many people were dead?

Jack wanted to punch something. It wasn't enough that people were dying everywhere over something as stupid as a hunk of metal, they also had to do this to his friend. Daniel was broken, his optimism finally sucked away. Seven years of endless battles against a seemingly unbeatable alien foe had not done that. His own people's paranoid stubbornness did it.

Jack finally managed to get Daniel to lie down, to get the rest he obviously needed. Jack watched him sleep for hours, letting his brain wrap around everything that had happened.

It was only when Daniel finally began to stir awake that Jack finally asked him the question that had been plaguing him. "Do they know you're here, Daniel?"

Daniel blinked up at Jack for a moment before shaking his head. "No…I just got up one day and packed. The next thing I knew, I was here, standing on your porch." He seemed a bit more lucid, but he still didn't seem to comprehend what he had done.

Jack closed his eyes. A few years ago it might have seemed like no big deal for a non-military person to walk out on their post, but these days…no one's life was their own. He knew what this would look like to the suspicious eye. Desertion, or worse, evidence that he didn't entirely support the government's agenda.

As Jack regarded Daniel, he seemed to have realized what he had done as well, his face draining of color.

"I….I didn't think," he stuttered.

"I know," Jack said, pushing to his feet and pacing around the room.

They would be coming for him. It wouldn't be too difficult for them to find him either, as he must have passed through a dozen checkpoints to have gotten this far from Washington.

Daniel reached over and grabbed Jack's arm, his eyes beginning to show panic. "I don't know what to do anymore, Jack."

Jack didn't have an answer and he knew there was no way to protect Daniel. So he did the only thing he could. A few hours later with surprisingly little effort, Jack smuggled Daniel off world, depositing him on Chulak with Teal'c's family.

Daniel had protested, but Jack was no longer listening. It was the only way for him to be safe. And Jack was beginning to realize that maybe it was the only way any of them ever would be.

* * *

Three weeks after Jack watched Daniel disappear into the glimmering mouth of the Stargate, his sleep was once again interrupted, only this time by the shrill ring of his phone. 

Sam.

Something was wrong, Jack could tell from the first word out of her mouth. They hadn't spoken since the latest escalation of the war, but Sam's tone as she discussed one inane thing after another was enough to finally confirm his suspicions as to the nature of Sam's new position.

Goddamned war.

"Sam," he interrupted, using her name to shock her into silence. "Everything is going to be fine, I promise. Just remember who you are, you're a good person."

Sam was silent for a long moment.

"Maybe you don't know me anymore, Jack," she said thickly in a voice that told him she was trying not to cry.

Before he could even answer, she hung up on him.

Jack held the dead phone for a long time, finally realizing what he had to do.

The time for sitting helplessly behind his desk was over.

* * *

Nyan and Brenna were the first to go of the alien refugees. Jack had them brought in to the SGC for routine 'check-ups,' before offering them a chance to get off Earth and go anywhere they wanted. They both seemed incredibly saddened by what was happening to their adopted planet, but neither hesitated when they were offered a place by Melosha on the Land of Light. 

Jack couldn't blame them.

In the end, about twenty alien refugees living in America were smuggled out through the gate over the next few weeks. This wasn't their war; they all deserved a chance at a real life.

Soon there was only one alien left. Jack went in person to collect her.

He waited for her outside a large lecture hall on the depopulated college campus. It was obvious that the draft was draining students away at an alarming rate. Only a handful of students came out as the bells rang noon.

Her eyes fell on him immediately. She didn't even need to ask what he was doing there. There were only two reasons he would show up, and his opening words ruled out the first one.

"As far as I know, they're all fine," Jack said quickly.

Cassie just nodded and silently led him towards her dorm where she already had a bag packed, her decision made long ago, before the first bomb even fell.

Stepping back out into the sunlight, Jack shouldered her bag and pulled on his sunglasses.

"What about you, Jack?" she eventually asked.

She wanted to know if he was leaving, too. Jack fidgeted, but did not answer. But Cassie knew him well enough to be a step ahead.

"You still haven't decided, have you? It's easy for you to risk everything to get those you care about out of the way, to make sure they're safe. But you're not sure you can get yourself to follow."

Jack wondered when exactly Cassie had become this perceptive. Part of him missed the naïve kid who had bought his bluff that all Earth kids were required to have a dog.

"It's not running away, Jack. It isn't dereliction of duty. And even if it is, maybe it's well past time to be selfish. None of you worked so hard and sacrificed so much so that this would be our future. She didn't die for _this_," she said with a thrust of her finger towards a bank of newspapers.

The press, as always, was having a field day exploiting the terrors of war for their own circulation benefits. They plastered the country with larger than life color images of death and suffering, breeding and feeding fear. That hadn't been what Janet had been about. She had been about quiet, anonymous sacrifice with no need for acclaim. He couldn't help but think that she would be appalled.

"What do you think she would have done?" The question surprised Jack as it left his lips, but he found that he really, really wanted to hear Cassie's answer. Somehow it was really important to know what Janet Fraiser would have thought.

Cassie paused, staring blindly at the campus quad that was nearly empty except for the presence of a few armed security forces. Eventually she turned to Jack and placed a hand on his arm. "She would have risked everything for us, too."

Jack nodded, but Cassie wasn't done.

She sighed in defeat and ran a hand over her face. "But I don't think she could have left either, not until she had saved as many people as she could. By any means."

There wasn't so much censure in her voice as understanding. Jack forced himself to meet her eyes, realizing that he'd already known what he was going to do all along. And Cassie had known it, too.

Now he just had to figure out a way to do it.


	4. Resolve

_A/N: Endless thanks to Queen Mab for salvaging this story. _

**_Part 3: Resolve_**

The staff at the SGC and the Alpha site was quite thin and Jack knew each of them inside and out. It was easy to avoid the government plants that were there more out of traditional suspicion than any real worries that Jack O'Neill might have a plan up his sleeve. After all, he was old news and the least of the government's worries.

Ironically enough, the Stargate Program was of little concern to anyone anymore, as if they had completely forgotten what had started this mess to begin with. But as long as nothing interrupted the procurement of naqaudah, the SCG was pretty much left alone.

Jack couldn't help but notice the similarity to the Goa'uld system of slavery. How was he really any different than Pyrus, Ellori or any of the other dozens of human rulers that had blindly supplied the Goa'uld with naquadah in exchange for safety from retribution?

But for now, Jack was actually glad of the situation. He slowly shuffled personnel between the SGC and the Alpha site, feeling that at the very least, the people still here deserved their own final choice. Smuggling the loved ones of those people who chose to relocate to the Alpha site took a bit more finesse, but within four months, Jack had finally accomplished it with little fuss.

It was time for the next phase of his plan.

He'd had to call in every last marker he had to his name and indebt himself to countless more people, but he eventually did the undoable. He found Colonel Samantha Carter. Playing his last card, he had Siler rig something up and finally convinced the right bigwigs that if Carter couldn't come and fix the gate, there would be no more naquadah. The results had been almost instantaneous. And now he was standing in the parking lot, waiting for a transport to deliver her back where she belonged.

When she first stepped out of the dark sedan into the bright sunlight, he almost didn't recognize her. She had lost weight and her skin looked pallid in the sun. Her eyes automatically fell on Jack, but as she moved towards him, he couldn't help but think he was looking into the eyes of a stranger.

Jack cursed himself for not getting to her sooner.

She stopped in front of him and saluted, not seeming to notice or care that he was wearing civvies and they were standing in the middle of a parking lot. "Colonel Carter reporting for duty, sir."

It was hard to match up this cool professionalism with the woman who just a few months ago had held back tears as she spoke to him on the phone.

"Carter," he acknowledged with a nod, not completely unprepared for her attitude. Talking on the phone was one thing, being together in person another all together. On the phone, her presence had never been like a swift shot the gut like it was today, ruthlessly reminding him of just how much he had missed her.

Sam was already moving towards the check-in, studiously avoiding his gaze, as if somehow aware of his thoughts. "What seems to be the big problem, sir?"

Jack reached out and stopped her with a simple touch to her arm. He wasn't sure if he imagined her start slightly at the contact. "This way," he said with a jerk of his head away from the mountain and towards the parking lot.

She was given no choice but to follow him, but she kept glancing back at the mountain. "Sir, I really don't have time for this. I can't stay long and I don't know how long this might take."

Jack continued dragging her towards his car. "Carter, there is nothing wrong with the gate. Just get in the car."

She pulled her arm out of his grasp, bringing them both to a halt. "What?" she demanded abruptly with wide, suspicious eyes as if trying to gauge if he had lost his mind in the months since they had last spoken.

"Carter….please," he finally said earnestly, willing her to trust him.

Something shifted in her expression at his plea. She nodded silently and climbed into his car.

They sat in tense silence until their destination became clear. Sam glanced around at the scenery and said, "You made it up."

"Yes," Jack said simply, his hands gripping at the wheel.

Sam stared at him in shock. "Why? Don't you know how much trouble you could get into?"

Jack sighed as he pulled into his driveway. "Carter, you know why. And do you really think that kind of trouble matters anymore?"

He led her into the house, closing the door carefully behind them.

"Sir, this is crazy," Sam said, standing awkwardly in his entryway looking as if MPs were going to jump out of his coat closet at any moment. These days, there was always someone watching.

"You're just getting that?" Jack said tiredly, absently rubbing at his temples in a hopeless attempt to relieve the constant tension headache he had been living with for months.

He could feel Sam's eyes on him, her palpable concern slightly breaking through whatever barriers she'd felt the need to erect between them the last few months. He knew why she did it. She didn't want him to see her as weak. But Sam had never been able to completely turn off her heart, even if she'd wanted to. Jack was glad to see that she was still the woman he had known, at least in this one small way.

"What's wrong, sir?" she finally asked from the hallway, probably still not quite brave enough to step into the room.

Jack laughed humorlessly, wondering if she was being deliberately obtuse or if she had really been shielded _that_ much. Well, at least her ignorance, or denial, he could fix. He pushed to his feet and walked straight to his bookcase, pulling out a thick folder of paper he had been slowly gathering over the last year of this war. A tangible document of what had been lost.

While his back was turned, Sam's curiosity had managed to push her down the last few steps into the living room.

Jack dropped the folder on the table in front of Sam and gestured for her to look. "What's wrong?" he said. "Take your pick."

Sam cautiously approached the table as if it held a bomb, and in some ways, Jack mused, it did.

The sheets of paper were slowly spread across the table by Sam's steady hand, each one detailing only two things: names and numbers. Casualty totals and lists of names, both the achingly familiar and the anonymous victims from both sides. The dividends of the last two years.

Jack could see realization dawning on her face and felt a perverse sort of pleasure in the way her façade cracked slightly. She backed away from the table as if burned.

Jack's pleasure quickly melted into concern as Sam's face paled and her fingers began to tremble. "You must have known…suspected," Jack said lowly, watching her fiddle with the cuffs of her sleeves.

"It doesn't matter," she said stonily, blindly turning back to the door. "I have to get back."

"It _does_ matter, and you know it," Jack said quietly, his voice stopping her mid-step. "And I can't just ignore it anymore."

Sam spun back around to face him, studying him intently for a moment. "Sir, what have you done?" she asked with quiet horror.

Jack didn't answer, but just leaned against the arm of the couch, his arms crossed, letting her work it out.

After a long moment, in true Carter fashion, she hit straight on the mark with the barest of clues. "Where _is_ Daniel? Have you heard from him? And Cassie?"

"You already know those answers," Jack said, sitting back on the couch once more now that he was sure she would stay.

He watched Sam wander aimlessly around the room, occasionally pausing to touch various objects. Jack knew her well enough to know that she was thinking hard. Trying to work out what all of this meant.

"You sent them off world," she finally said, not needing any confirmation. She turned back around to look at him. "Why did you bring me here?" she asked.

Jack suppressed the urge to reach out and touch her. "I want you to go, too."

Shock didn't really cover what she seemed to be feeling. He saw a thousand emotions pass over her face in that one moment. Relief, horror, hope, anger, embarrassment, guilt. She paced back and forth down the length of his living room, finally turning to him.

"Leave Earth? Are you serious?"

It was funny, ironic even, that for a moment Jack actually wished he was still her commanding officer. So many years of wondering what it would have been like to not have any restrictions between them, but now he desperately wanted to be able to order her to stop asking questions and just do as she was told. Not that it had ever been that cut and dry between them, but at least it had been comfortable and even a little predictable.

But Jack was no longer her commanding officer. He couldn't order her to do squat, let alone commit what some might see as treason. What he could do, though, was play the card he had never let himself use before. It scared him slightly, that he was desperate enough to try and use her feelings against her, but there was no more room for half measures.

"Please, Sam, just do this for me," Jack said gently.

Sam's breath hitched as if she couldn't quite believe he had asked. She shook her head, though whether in denial or as an attempt to clear her head, Jack didn't know.

"Why should I?" she finally choked out. "What makes me so special that I get to run away from this mess? I'm just one person. I'm not more important than anyone else," she said weakly, clearly affected by his plea, but refusing to budge nonetheless.

"Yes," Jack said rather more intensely than he intended, "you are."

Sam's eyes slid from his face, clearly made uncomfortable by his words. "Fine, so my brain makes me important," she said bitterly, "isn't that even more reason for me to stay?"

"Believe it or not, I wasn't talking about your brain."

Sam made a strange sound halfway between a derisive laugh and snort of disbelief as if she couldn't believe there was anything else 'special' about her. "Even if I wanted to, even if I agreed, what makes you think they won't come after me? I doubt the government would so easily let go of their favorite toy."

Jack hated the way she was talking about herself. She'd always had insecurities about certain parts of her life, but her intelligence had never been one of them. They'd made her hate that part of herself. "You won't have to worry about them," Jack said with certainty, his fists clenching at his sides.

Sam raised an eyebrow at him. "How can you be so sure?"

Jack looked away from her, not wanting her to read the truth, but she was already there. She could read the choice he was willing to make for the entire planet in his eyes.

"You can't be seriously considering…," she said breathlessly.

"Is it really so hard to believe? This whole damn planet is going to blow itself to hell no matter what I do. All that's left is making it a little harder for them to do, and get the people I care about as far away from this mess as I can."

Sam took a deep breath as if trying to regain control, and Jack didn't blame her. This was a hell of a lot to have thrown at her so fast.

But Sam managed to digest it quickly and hone in on the one thing he would rather she would have overlooked. "You're going to stay behind."

Jack stood abruptly and turned away, not particularly wanting to get into this. Especially with her.

But Sam wasn't backing down. "I know you. For all your bluster about damning the planet to hell, you still have no intention of leaving with us. If you do this, you'll be trapped here, alone, forever. You say this is just about getting the rest of us safely away...but that's not really it, is it?"

"Sam," he said softly, a little disarmed by how accurately she was reading the situation. Her eyes flew to his face and suddenly she looked overwhelmingly vulnerable. Jack moved to kneel by her, reaching one hand out to touch her face. She unconsciously leaned into the contact, even as she regarded him warily. "This is about you, not me. So don't pretend that I don't know what you've been doing. Don't pretend that this isn't destroying you. You can't go on this way."

Sam paled alarmingly at his blunt words, but then she reached up and wrapped her fingers gingerly around his. "The same could be said about you, Jack."

Jack's hand tensed automatically at her words, but he just shook his head, refusing to acknowledge her point. "I just need to know you're safe before I…"

"Before you what?" Sam pressed. "Sacrifice yourself for the greater good?"

"I wasn't planning on dying, Carter," Jack said evasively.

"Believe it or not, I wasn't talking about your life," she said, throwing his own words back at him.

Jack knew what she meant. He very well could get out of this whole mess with his life, but with little else. An empty, lonely shell. In some ways it would be worse. Maybe that was the attraction. Fitting punishment. Because in the end, he could acknowledge that the others deserved a second chance at a real life. He just couldn't find it in him to extend such clemency to himself.

"You're such a goddamned tragic hero. Rescue your friends and then stay behind, saving all the hard choices and guilt for yourself."

There was far too much truth in her words for Jack's comfort, but all he could do was remain where he was, staring up at her helplessly, unable to deny it.

Sam fell silent and pushed up from the chair, walking away from Jack and the bleakness of his expression. Her eyes eventually fell on the collection of papers on Jack's table. The list of the dead and fallen among the SGC personnel rested on top. She ran her fingers over it, smearing the red ink like blood.

She thought of his plan, the decisions he was willing to make and was enveloped by an overwhelming feeling of inescapability.

"There's really no other choice, is there?" she finally observed softly.

Jack came up behind her, just short of actually touching her. "No. I don't think there is."

Then she turned and met his eyes and for the merest moment he thought he saw a glimmer of the old Sam Carter. "I won't let you do this alone."

Jack opened his mouth to protest, but her hand moved up to block the words.

"Let me tell you what's going to happen, Jack O'Neill. We do anything we can to make this stop, using that plan you've got tucked up your sleeve."

"And then?" Jack asked tentatively against her fingers, feeling a strange mix of hope and dread at the same time.

Sam stared at him for long moments, dropping her hand to his chest. "Then _we_ go."

Jack closed his eyes, warring with the instinct to make her safe at any cost and his relief that he might not have to do this alone. Then he realized that this was what he'd hoped she'd say all along.

He wondered what kind of a person that made him.

He turned away, slowly pacing the room, allowing his fingers to reach into his pocket and wrap around the soft white crystal that he'd been carrying around for weeks. It represented his last chance, one last ditch effort to make things better. His power to affect change, should he choose to use it.

Jack slowly pulled the crystal out, resting it on his open palm, and offered it to Sam. Her eyes widened slightly in surprise before her cool fingers wrapped around his, hovering protectively over their lifeline.

They would save the world one more time.

Then they would see about saving each other.


	5. Solidarity

_**Part 4: Solidarity**_

SG-1 came together with the same quiet deliberateness that had torn them apart. Quick trips across the galaxy, a few bright flashes of white light, and then they were standing together in the metal hollows of Thor's ship.

Jack had once thought that being a part of SG-1 would be like a million other things he had been a part of; just a period in his life with a beginning and an end. Something temporal, with a before and after. Just like he'd been a husband and then he wasn't. A prisoner in Iraq. A father. There was always an after.

Each of them had understood this in their own way. They told themselves that SG-1 was only one aspect of their lives. They had walked away, believing they could move on, become other people. And they had, in a way, but not for the better.

As Jack stood with his ex-teammates on the bridge of Thor's ship, he finally realized the truth. None of them had spared a glance for the spectacular view of Earth from orbit; they only had eyes for each other. Reunited for the first time in two years, Jack was forced to realize that for SG-1, there would never be an 'after.'

And he was oddly comforted by that knowledge.

Jack let his eyes travel over the people that now stood in a rough circle, watching each other almost warily. Daniel had gained back some weight in his months off world, but his eyes were still heavy with fatigue, with seeing things he should never have witnessed. Jack should have known exiling Daniel from Earth could never have removed his capacity for empathy.

Sam was the first to move, to break the stalemate that seemed to have risen up between them. Four quick steps and she was in Daniel's arms, ending two years of separation. Each held the other a little too long, a little too hard, revealing their ragged edges to the other without the need for words. And then Sam was softly whispering and Daniel was nodding quietly against her in understanding.

Jack watched the display from a few feet away and only felt a renewed drive to make these people safe.

Somewhere in all of this Teal'c had shifted to stand by Jack's side. There was no need for words or hugs between them. Jack could read everything he needed to in the Jaffa's jagged profile, the way his robes didn't quite sit right on his shoulders. Things with the Jaffa were not as Teal'c had foreseen. Jack could tell he was just as adrift as the rest of them had been.

But in that moment, watching Daniel and Sam reunite and feeling the quiet presence of Teal'c at his side, Jack no longer felt so lost. He was surprised at how the mere company of these people was enough to settle everything, to make everything seem more manageable. To make the path seem clear.

It was a glimpse of how they had once been, and suddenly Jack understood exactly why they were the ones to save Earth over and over again. When SG-1 was together they were unstoppable, invincible.

And he couldn't help but think that maybe none of this would have happened if they had just stuck together from the beginning.

Daniel and Sam eventually pulled apart and then she was at Teal'c's side, her hands touching him softly to reassure herself of the reality of his existence. Jack clapped one hand on Daniel's shoulder, only in that moment realizing just how much he had missed the younger man.

Daniel glanced up at Jack, still looking more than a little lost, and said softly, "Please tell me we are finally going to do something."

Jack took a deep breath and looked over at Sam, who was staring steadily back at him.

"I want to steal the Stargate."

There was a flash of something in Sam's eyes, quickly hidden.

Jack wasn't sure what they had expected from him, some magic fix perhaps, but he could tell that his words were not the ones they wanted to hear.

"You want to steal the Stargate," Daniel repeated slowly, as if trying out the words.

Jack nodded silently.

Daniel stared at him for long moments, looking like he was waiting for Jack to take the words back. When no retraction came, he blew out a frustrated breath. "You can't really think that will fix anything," Daniel said, soft hope and bewildered confusion firing into disbelief.

Teal'c tilted his head to the side in a way that told Jack he was seriously mulling over the plan, if you could call it that. "The fighting began because of the Stargate," he observed. "Removing the object of contention may diffuse the situation."

"It's not that simple, Teal'c," Daniel said.

Sam stepped forward, her brow furrowed. "But once the U.S. no longer had access to superior technology, they may appear as less of a threat to the rest of the world," she said slowly as if working out all the angles, "At least maybe enough to get them talking again."

Teal'c nodded in agreement.

Daniel made a rough sound of disbelief. "You've got to be kidding me. Am I the only one who remembers just how many people have died? We can't just steal the gate in the middle of the night and slink off like cowards."

"Daniel," Sam hissed, her face stricken.

But Jack didn't need to be defended. There was far too much truth in Daniel's words for that. "Give us a different plan then," Jack said instead, knowing that Daniel would have to work this out himself.

Daniel's mouth snapped shut at Jack's request and he began pacing absently. "We go back down and _make_ them listen."

The room was silent once again for a long time, each of them doing their best to avoid Daniel's penetrating gaze.

"There's no going back, Daniel," Jack finally said quietly. "I thought you would have figured that out by now."

Daniel roughly turned away from them and stared out the window, his anger and indignation apparent in every sharp angle of his body. He just wasn't willing to accept the facts of their new lives.

Jack gritted his teeth and accepted the inevitability of this conversation. "If you go back, you know what will happen. How long do you really think it will take for them to lock you up? And I'm sure they'd have a nice cell next door for Carter. Is that what you want?"

Daniel looked surprised, turning to Sam. She shrugged nonchalantly, not quite meeting his gaze. "I've been gone too long already."

Understanding dawned on Daniel's face and he rounded on Jack. "And whose fault is that?" he asked harshly.

Jack wasn't completely unprepared for Daniel's anger, knowing that Daniel had been exiled from everything he'd known for more than sixth months, cut off from doing anything, from any chance at making a difference. Jack, the one who facilitated his departure, made an easy target. "You're not really mad at me, Daniel, you're mad at the situation. So knock it off before you say something you'll really regret."

But Daniel's face had taken on that mulish look that was far too familiar.

"O'Neill is correct, DanielJackson," Teal'c finally said, breaking the stalemate. "Your anger is misplaced."

Daniel released a heavy breath and ran one hand over his haggard face. "There just has to be another way," he maintained.

Jack's anger finally spiked in that moment, the way Daniel made it sound like Jack hadn't thought about this. Didn't he realize that questioning and thinking this through were the only things he did anymore?

"You want plans, Daniel? I'll give you plans. How about we stage a coup and conquer the world? We know better than the rest of them, so it would really be for their own good, right? But how many more people would die then, do you think?

"Or should we go back in time and try to keep the program from going public? From ever existing in the first place? Because we have been heading towards this point for centuries, Daniel, no matter how much we meddle. How far back would be enough? How much would we have to change?

"Or maybe it would be better if I just continue to wile my time away in the SGC and ignore all the death or the fact that the Asgard High Council is threatening to renege on our status as a Protected Planet because the fabled 'Fifth Race' has shown a penchant for violence? One that they are reluctant to see spread to the impressionable, newly free cultures in the Galaxy? And once they have abandoned us, maybe I could stand by and watch as Earth is destroyed by the last wily Goa'uld that's too damn ornery to die? Or maybe just wait for the next new threat?"

It was now Daniel's turn to look ashen. To be honest, Jack had revealed more of his burden these last months than he intended, but maybe Daniel just needed to understand how impossible this situation was.

"I…I didn't know…," Daniel stuttered shakily, obviously flabbergasted by the Asgard's threatened withdrawal. Even as experienced as he was with intergalactic diplomacy, he just couldn't accept that the Tau'ri wouldn't be considered worth protecting.

Jack felt his anger melt into simple tiredness. "No, Daniel, you didn't know. Things have only gotten worse since you left and you couldn't have known, because you haven't been sitting behind a desk for _two years_ watching everything that ever mattered to you fall to pieces, knowing that there was absolutely nothing you could do to stop it. It feels like I've had a lifetime to think about this. And really wish I could have come up with some miraculous fix, but this is all I have."

Teal'c took a small step forward at this point, coming to stand between the two men. "Have the Asgard agreed to this course of action?"

Jack nodded, not taking his eyes off of Daniel. "If the Stargate goes, they promise to keep Earth in the Treaty, and even that much cost me every favor they ever owed us."

"It seems we have little choice," Teal'c observed. "And as much as I, too, wanted to put my faith in the Tau'ri, it is perhaps best that this fighting not be allowed to spill over onto the innocents of other planets."

Jack felt burning shame that his people, who had once been the hope of the Galaxy, were now a bad seed to be feared. He briefly wondered if Teal'c had come to regret giving up his whole life on Chulak and putting his faith in a rundown soldier of Earth. "I'm sorry we couldn't be what you hoped, Teal'c."

Teal'c smiled softly, barely more than a miniscule stretching of his lips. "We have already achieved more than I had ever dreamed, O'Neill. So perhaps it is best to see this present unpleasantness as a valuable reminder that we are all capable of mistakes, mythical race or not."

Jack nodded, but still wished they could have learned that lesson another way.

Daniel visibly took a deep breath as if trying to control his emotions long enough to make one last point. "I hear what you're both saying, I really do. But I don't think you truly comprehend what taking the Stargate means for Earth. You're taking away their last chance to make themselves better. It's…it's admitting that we never really had any potential to begin with. You can't take that away from them."

"They don't deserve it."

The stilted words were the first Sam had spoken since the argument had begun. All three men turned with surprise to look at her where she stood with her back to them, staring down at Earth.

Sam's voice was achingly thin and she hugged herself tightly as if trying to hold herself together. "Everything we've done, everything we sacrificed…it was all because we thought we were making Earth safer, better. But they twisted it all around. They made it…something dirty. And I don't think they'll stop until there is nothing left of any of us. Until it all means nothing."

Watching her, wanting to do nothing more than wrap his arms around her and help her hold it together, Jack knew with unbreakable certainty that this was the greatest rationale of all. He would not allow this planet to break these people, to break her.

Daniel's soft words finally broke the shocked silence following Sam's proclamation. "So we just take that chance away from them?" he asked, not without gentleness. "Who are we to decide that? Who are we to play god?"

It was a valid question, one that had been rattling around in Jack's head ever since he had made this decision.

"What kind of people would we be if we didn't?" Jack countered. It was the only kind of answer he had ever been able to come up with.

Daniel stared back at Jack, processing his words, still looking for any other way. Jack didn't push him; instead he looked over at Sam who was staring out at the tiny blue sphere that seemed so incongruously peaceful from orbit. She must have felt his eyes on her because she turned back to him, her eyes steadily holding his gaze and revealing none of her misgivings.

"What do you need me to do?" she asked.

They all recognized the question for what it was: her vote of support for the plan.

Daniel moved across the room to her side, taking a moment to stare out the window. "I'm scared it won't be enough."

"It has to be," Sam answered lowly.

Daniel sighed, not bothering to deny her words. "I never imagined it ending this way."

None of them had, Jack knew. But he guessed that everyone always eventually learned the truth: fairy tales weren't real. And neither were heroes.

Teal'c remained by Jack's side in a quiet show of support and Daniel eventually nodded his acceptance.

And so SG-1 was reunited, to complete one last mission for Earth.


	6. Vulnerable

**_Part 5: Vulnerable_**

After long hours of discussing tactics and the exact chronology of their plan, Thor beamed Jack down to get a few last minute things worked out and one final night's sleep on Earth.

Some primal impulse led Jack to sit out on his back lawn, somehow needing a last moment of contact with the planet for which he had given everything.

A bright flash poured out of his living room windows and a few moments later he could hear soft footsteps crossing the deck.

Sam settled down on the grass next to him, her legs crossed in front of her. For a while she absently picked at the grass, twirling it deftly between her fingers, and Jack briefly wondered if she had been one of those kids to sit in the backfield making daisy chains while everyone else played soccer. Somehow he couldn't quite picture her as the type.

"I'm glad you're not doing this alone," Sam finally said, breaking into his thoughts. "It's a burden you weren't meant to bear by yourself."

"Neither is yours," Jack said softly, already suspecting the real reason for her visit tonight.

He saw her flinch in the moonlight, her eyes becoming suspiciously bright.

Jack turned away from Sam's profile, instead lifting his eyes to the familiar bright constellations in the night sky. Would he ever get a chance to see them again? He gave himself a moment to say goodbye to the familiar shapes.

A soft rustling next to Jack told him that Sam had recovered her composure enough to continue. Out of the corner of his eye he could see her lift her face to the sky and he wondered if she was making similar farewells.

"I made that bomb," she eventually confessed, almost as if trying out the words for the first time.

Jack nodded silently, taking her words as confirmation for what he had already suspected. He knew they were words she had long held inside, tucked away in her lab somewhere, cut off from her friends, every day wondering what she was doing even as she worked tirelessly to perfect it. She was Carter; she wasn't capable of anything less.

"I think I convinced myself they wouldn't use it," she said lowly and Jack could clearly read self-deprecation in her tone.

"You didn't have a choice either way, Carter," Jack reminded her. "And you know that. Choice was the first casualty of this war."

"They couldn't have done it without me. Nothing changes that fact," she said firmly.

"Sam," Jack rasped softly, reaching out one hand to touch the sleeve of her jacket in an inadequate gesture, not knowing what else to do.

"I killed those people, Jack. I killed them."

Her arm was rigid beneath his touch and part of him wished she could just let go, even for a moment, and let herself cry, let herself rage. Her harsh acceptance of what had happened, her drive to blame herself, fired the anger that had been roiling in Jack's stomach for endless months. He couldn't help but feel that by letting this happen to her, he had failed her somehow.

"I should have gotten you out sooner," he said with self-reproach, driving an angry hand through his hair. "I should have found a way to keep you at the SGC."

Sam automatically shook her head, denying his claim to the blame. "It's not your job to protect me," she said in a painfully cool, even voice. "Not anymore."

Jack wasn't sure exactly what she meant by that statement. All he could register was the stabbing pain in his chest.

_Not anymore._

She could just mean that he wasn't her CO anymore. She was no longer a subordinate that he was honor bound to look out for. But deep in his gut he feared that she might mean he no longer had a place in her life. She didn't need or want his protection. Or him.

Jack had no idea what to say, how to respond to the cold words or the burning in his lungs, so he just said the first thing that popped into his mind. Because no matter what she thought, there was only one truth Jack knew.

"I want it to be my job."

Jack heard the soft intake of breath that Sam couldn't quite hide. There was a time, not so long ago, that Jack would never have said those words, no matter how true or vague they were. But those days were long behind them. There really were no more rules to be broken. And Jack had no more energy for games.

For the merest moment, Jack thought she was going to turn to him and smile, but instead, she pushed to her feet and walked a few steps away from him, her back ramrod straight.

"I don't deserve to be saved. I don't deserve…," she trailed off, vaguely making an awkward sweeping gesture between them.

It was such an absurdly abstract statement that Jack couldn't resist automatically quipping, "You know how I feel about Charades, Carter."

Despite herself, Sam let out a soft huff of amusement under her breath even as she shook her head at him in exasperation. He knew they both had to be thinking of the disastrous time Teal'c had demanded a demonstration of the Tau'ri game. They had been lucky no one had lost an eye, really.

Jack watched Sam a moment longer as he tried to think of the right words to say to her, the levity of the moment quickly draining away. "Look, Carter, I don't claim to know much of anything anymore. I don't know if I'm doing the right thing. I don't know if I could have stopped this war before it started somehow." He stood up carefully and moved to stand by Sam's side, shoving his hands in his pockets. "And I don't know if we waited too long or if, given the chance, I ever could have made you happy."

Sam turned slightly away from him, staring blindly at the lawn stretching out beneath them. Jack could see her swallow hard against something that he could only imagine were tears.

_Carters don't cry._ He could almost hear her thinking it.

She dug the toe of her shoe into the grass in a motion of frustration, and the fresh scent of earth and loam filled Jack's senses, reminding him of just another aspect of the lives they were going to leave behind.

Jack waited for Sam to decide what sort of moment this would be. Was it time to walk away before things got too complicated? Or were things finally different enough? He honestly had no idea what her reaction might be.

Her silence stretched unbearably long and Jack reached out and grabbed her arm. "Just tell me something, Carter. Why did you really come down here tonight?"

Sam glanced at his hand wrapped around her upper arm, studiously avoiding his gaze. "I…," she stuttered aimlessly, obviously unable or unwilling to explain her actions.

Jack would laugh at them both for their hesitation, even in the face of the end of the world, if he wasn't so goddamned tired. Instead, he dropped her arm with a heavy sigh and turned away. It was only then that she whispered so softly that he almost missed it, "Why do you think I came?"

Jack might have thought she was mocking him if she hadn't sounded so incredibly small. He knew what she was really asking him, though, and there was only one answer for her.

He gently reached over and raised her face to his, knowing that words had never been enough for what was between them. So he just steadily met her gaze, and for once hid nothing from her. He let her see a man who would still die for her. A man who had unshakable faith in her. A man who really saw Samantha Carter, good and bad, and still held her in his heart. Always.

Forced to meet this unexpected revelation, Sam let out a soft sound and finally lost her battle with her emotions, a single tear finding release down her cheek. Jack didn't move to wipe it away; instead he dropped his hand to her arm and carefully pulled her closer. He wrapped his arms loosely around her, giving Sam ample opportunity to pull away, but instead she seemed to melt into him, more tears falling damply against his neck.

He let her cry for a long time, strangely appeased by her emotional release. He held her silently until long after her breathing began to even out again. Eventually he could feel Sam intently wiping at her face, probably trying to erase any signs of what she saw as a weakness. Jack stilled her hands against his chest and pulled back to see her face.

"This isn't about what we deserve, Sam, or how we've changed. This is about not letting go of whatever we have left," Jack whispered softly.

Sam studied his face for long moments before hesitantly reaching up and running her hand through his hair, playing with the mussed spikes. Jack must have looked surprised, because she gave him the faintest half smile and said, "I've always wanted to do that."

Jack's heart was beating too loudly against his chest as he continued to stare at her, not wanting to misread her intentions, part of him unwilling to believe. "Sam," he said softly and it was a question, because he always felt the masochistic need to give her one last chance to walk away, no matter how much it would kill him.

The smile dropped from her face, replaced by a sort of emotional intensity he had rarely seen, at least not directed at him. It made him feel like she could read his every thought.

"Some things never change," Sam said and then in one easy motion she lifted up on her toes and pressed her lips to his.

_Some things never change._

Ten years had passed since the first day he met her. Six years since he consciously realized in one jolting moment that he never wanted to live without her and that maybe, somehow, she felt the same. More than two years since he had prepared himself to watch her marry another man, knowing he could survive anything if it just meant she would be happy. Four months since he heard her brokenly holding back tears on the other end of a phone line because of what her government had forced her to become.

And now, standing on his back lawn in the moonlight on their last night on Earth, she was kissing him. So, yes, many things had happened to change them over the years, but one thing was always there. He never wanted to live without her.

And maybe by the way her fingers tangled in his hair and her lips moved softly over his, she was trying to tell him that she felt the same way.

Jack pulled back slightly, wanting to see her face. She was a little startled by his seeming withdrawal, but beneath that he could see the same longing he felt in his heart. The look he had first seen six years before behind the hazy glow of a force field.

He gave her a crooked grin to reassure her. And since they were apparently doing things they had always wanted to do, he leaned down and took his time exploring that one part of her neck that had nearly driven him to distraction in far too many briefings. Sam made a soft, incoherent sound in response, her fingers digging into his back. Then Jack said something he had always had to hold back before, but no longer.

"You're beautiful, Sam," he breathed against her skin.

He wasn't sure she believed him yet, but he had hope that one day she would. Words, after all, had never been what they were about. So instead, he pulled her even closer against his body, feeling her hands slip underneath his shirt, and abandoned himself to the moment.

Exploring Sam's body conjured the confused feeling of the very familiar and the achingly foreign. There were so many facets of this woman that had long lain hidden from him. But even still, her skin was like a touchstone, every scar, every part of her body reviving some moment from their past. A reminder of their sacrifices, their pain and their triumphs. Of the too many times each had thought the other was finally lost, along with any chance for a moment like this one, where all barriers could finally fall away.

It reminded them both that no matter how horrible things had become, this moment was still something to be thankful for.

Whether they deserved it or not.

In the pale light of false dawn, they made love in the grass with the last of the stars wide above them, a final, sacred farewell to the earth that had born them. His name tumbled from her lips as a gasp of marvel and for the first time in as long as he could remember, Jack felt complete.


	7. Retreat

_**Part 6: Retreat**_

Eight o'clock on the dot the next morning, Jack walked into the SGC.

He wandered the early morning halls and reflected on his first trip down here and how much it had changed from its days as an old rundown missile silo. It had become a living thing somewhere along the road and Jack felt a slight twinge of loss at leaving this place behind. This place and the people it sheltered had changed his life.

When he eventually made it to the control room, the thumping heart of the SGC, Siler and Walter were both waiting for him, as they did every morning. But today, Jack didn't reach for the mug of coffee Walter offered him, or ask Siler for an update on the system.

Instead, he simply said, "It's time," and watched how the men's faces paled slightly, but remained resolute.

"Yes, sir," they echoed simultaneously.

Within ten minutes the Mountain had been completely cut off from the outside world and the staff, save the two government moles now being treated to their own cells, was assembled in the gateroom, moving carefully horded supplies through the gate to the Alpha Site.

Each would be given a chance to decide whether they wanted to step through the gate one last time.

Jack retreated to his office and perched down in the leather office chair that had once supported George Hammond. He ran his hands over the smooth wood surface of the desk and said aloud to the empty room, "I wish you were still here, sir."

But the hollow room had no advice to offer.

Pulling open the bottom drawer, Jack fished out a small well-read letter that Hammond had left for him the first day of his new Command. Jack tucked it carefully in his pocket, took one last look at the office and walked into the briefing room beyond. He suppressed the urge to walk the halls one last time, to follow the well-worn path between Daniel and Carter's labs, the commissary and Teal'c's quarters. They were all empty now, had been for years. Not even a hint of their previous inhabitants remained.

Jack walked down the tightly twisting stairs in to the Control Room, where Walter calmly sat monitoring gate activity below.

Jack touched Walter's shoulder and said, "Twenty minutes, Sergeant."

Walter nodded his understanding. "See you on the other side, sir."

Jack took one more look at the Stargate and requested transport up to Thor's ship.

* * *

Jack had never been one for speeches. He'd never really understood the need for words, when his actions could speak for themselves. But this war had taught him the awesome power of words. Suddenly power was in the hands of he who spoke loudest and longest.

Keep the people afraid. Keep them convinced that this way was the only way. Silence any other voices, by any means possible.

Words had become the currency of power on Earth.

Jack just hoped they could also be the vehicle for change. And today, they would have no choice but to listen.

Jack shifted uncertainly next to a small platform, still not convinced that this wasn't a job that better suited Daniel.

Almost as if summoned by his thoughts, Daniel appeared behind him. "We just received a message from Sam. She and Teal'c are safely away with the Prometheus."

Jack nodded silently, feeling a small beat of relief that half of his team was clear of this planet.

"O'Neill," Thor said from his position at a control panel some feet away. "Your world leaders are growing restless and their shock at finding themselves relocated seems to be wearing off."

Jack grimaced at the thought of their reaction to abrupt transported into an auditorium with their worst enemies.

"Show time, Jack," Daniel said.

"I was thinking," Jack said as his throat went dry, "that maybe you would be a better choice. You know how I am with speeches."

Daniel shook his head with small smile playing at his lips. But when he finally looked up and met Jack's slightly panicked eyes, his face was completely serious. "Today is a day for great men," he said with a small push in Jack's back.

Jack stumbled slightly and turned back to stare at Daniel, his chest constricting painfully. If weren't for the painfully intense look on Daniel's face, Jack would have assumed he was mocking him.

"I never claimed-," Jack started to protest.

"I know," Daniel interrupted. "The great ones never do."

Jack reached out a hand to Daniel's arm. "Daniel…," he mumbled inarticulately. He knew what Daniel was doing, what he was trying to say. Daniel was telling Jack that he forgave him this. That in his own way, he understood.

Jack opened his mouth, unsure of what to say.

But Daniel just smiled slightly and pushed Jack onto the platform.

"Good luck."

* * *

The lecture hall sat well over five hundred people, and every seat was occupied. Not that any of the people were calmly sitting. They were clustered in groups, some suspiciously staring at others, some yelling and pushing, and a few simply looking lost.

Jack shimmered into place on a small raised platform at the center of the room. He didn't shout to be heard over the din, but rather simply waited as a small wave of awareness rippled through the room. It wasn't long until complete silence reigned.

Jack cleared his throat and waved one hand awkwardly at the crowd in greeting. "Hi. Sorry for the inconvenience this little field trip may have caused you, but I needed to inform you all of some world events. Oh, and this is being broadcast on every major TV station, so the world is quite literally watching."

The crowd shifted uncomfortably for a moment, everyone craning their necks to see each other's reactions to this astounding proclamation.

"For those of you who don't know me," Jack continued, "I'm Jack O'Neill, commander of the United States' Stargate Program."

Gasps and whispers rose again and Jack waited calmly for it to pass. He had no notes for this speech, there was no precedence to follow, and so Jack just circumspectly shook out his tingling fingers and cut to the chase.

"I've had the honor to travel around this little galaxy of ours for the last eight years. One of my friends from out there once called the people of Earth very young. At the time, I thought they were underestimating us and in my arrogance I disregarded their warnings. But now, seeing what we've done to ourselves, I realize that she was right. Earth _is_ very young. Too young to be playing with such grown up toys. Too young to deserve to have the secrets of the Universe at its fingertips. Those wonders are only used to make better and more effective weapons and it's a waste.

"I've sat by for a long time and done nothing, but no longer. So here's what I'm going to do. I'm leaving this planet. And I'm taking the Stargate with me. And the alien technology. Even the Prometheus."

The crowd broke out into frenzied protest, but Jack managed to quiet them by lifting one hand, his hologram flickering eerily.

"To be clear, I do this so there will be no more reason to fight. No more reason for blood. Something tells me you'll keep fighting anyway, but at least now you no longer have that excuse. It's time to wake up and figure out was this is really all about. It's time to fix it.

"I'm taking my people with me to start over somewhere else. We're going to keep exploring, meeting new friends and maybe even figuring out a little of that meaning of life stuff, but we're going to do it in the name of wonder and humanity, not war.

"When you're finally ready to join us, we'll be waiting."

"You'll be leaving us defenseless!" a voice cried out from the crowd.

As if on cue, Thor shimmered into view next to Jack. He calmly looked around the room, blinking slowly and ignoring all the gasps. "The Asgard have pledged to protect Earth from off-world aggressors," he said slowly as if speaking to children. "We will watch over you, though we wish to have no more direct contact with your kind or your violence."

Thor's eyes narrowed as he looked carefully around the room. "I am only regretful that I misread the potential of a few individuals as the potential for your entire race. But O'Neill has convinced me to keep you safe at the very least. May you strive to deserve this compassion."

Jack nearly choked as Thor disappeared once again, surprised by the vehemence of the little alien's words.

"O'Neill!" called an angry voice from the stunned crowd. Jack turned to see an irate Kinsey standing just behind and to the side of President Hayes. "Who the hell do you think you are? What right do you have?"

Silence filled the room and Jack forced himself to answer the hardest of all questions.

"I'm just a man, Kinsey," Jack said quietly. "A man forced to make difficult choices and doing the best he can to do what's right." Jack's eyes shifted to the man on Kinsey's left. "Something you may well remember to do yourself, Mr. President."

It was a bald statement to make to the leader of one of the most powerful nations in the world. But Jack could see beyond the way Hayes' face paled, he was also looking at Kinsey a little more closely.

Jack turned back to the crowd. "I love this planet and I have dedicated my life to protecting it. But now I'm done." A smile played at his lips. "I guess you could say that I'm retiring. It's time for all of you to learn how to save yourselves."

Jack took a moment to look at the assorted faces watching him with varying levels of disbelief. "Please, for everyone's sake, do it quickly."

One more deep breath and Jack stepped back off the platform and disappeared, leaving them to their fate.

* * *

They renamed the Alpha-site New Terra and moved to the surface, abandoning grey subterranean spaces for a life lived in the sun. They held elections and built schools and everyone from the youngest child to the oldest man knew what the Stargate was. It was even stated in the community charter that exploration for the betterment of man was the primary goal of the fledgling society.

SG-1 remained closely tied together, even as each sought to forge a new direction. Sam became obsessed with agriculture and maximizing crop production, turning her exceptional mind towards creating life, not extinguishing it. Teal'c ran back and forth between New Terra and Dakara, hoping that the follies of the Tau'ri might help temper the extremes of the Free Jaffa Nation. Daniel threw himself into continued archaeological study, working with artifacts brought back by the SG teams, banking on the chance that he might, one day, find the ultimate answers.

And Jack stood back and watched it all flow around him, every breath tied to his responsibility to these people and the choices he has made.

Every day was dangerous and they never knew what they might bring back with them through the gate, but every person here had chosen this life, had dedicated themselves to what the Stargate should have been about from the beginning: hope.

It wasn't Earth, but it was peace.

And that was enough.


	8. Epilogue

Epilogue

_New Terra_

_Year 0_

The Stargate sprung into life, spraying the gray subterranean walls with dancing light.

Jack stood a few paces away with Teal'c, who was once again wearing the soft brown robes that never quite seemed to fit him. But Jack understood why Teal'c continued to don them. The weight of responsibility for a fledgling society was something that Jack understood far too well these days.

"Don't be a stranger, T," Jack said in farewell.

Teal'c didn't even have the decency to feign confusion. Instead, he turned to Jack with great seriousness, perhaps seeing beyond Jack's flippant words.

"We know each other quite well, O'Neill, and could never be strangers," Teal'c observed softly.

There was only one thing Jack could say in answer to that.

"Indeed," he agreed.

Teal'c allowed the smallest smile to quirk his lips. "I will return in a few days time."

Jack nodded, pushing his hands into his pockets. "I'll be here."

After the barest inclination of his head in acknowledgement, Teal'c stepped through the wormhole and disappeared.

It was a familiar feeling to watch his friend whisked away in a puddle of light. But at least this time, he had no doubts Teal'c would return.

* * *

Daniel was one of the only people to choose to remain in the underground facility, even as most people began to build on the surface. Jack couldn't be sure how much of that decision, as Daniel claimed, was because the controlled environment and lack of sunlight were better for the artifacts. Jack suspected it also had something to do with the familiarity of the space. Maybe sometimes late at night with his mind distracted by one puzzle or another, Daniel could convince himself that he was still at the SGC. That none of this had ever happened.

Daniel's refusal to let go didn't worry Jack. In a strange way, it made him feel better. Because it was Daniel, and Jack still had a feeling he could do anything. In a way, this stubbornness just meant that he wasn't completely broken and that there was still some Daniel left in there somewhere.

"Quit it," demanded Daniel, his voice breaking into Jack's thoughts.

"What?" Jack asked, still absently leaning against the door jamb.

Daniel didn't even bother to look up from the stone tablet he was carefully inspecting. "I can feel you hovering, Jack."

Amused, Jack took a few more steps into the room and began flipping through the nearest book, much to Daniel's annoyance. He snatched the book out of range of Jack's reach, only taking the extra time to send a glare in Jack's direction.

"Well, I don't mean to disturb the inner workings of your laboratory, Dr. Jackson" Jack said with mock offense. "I just thought you might want to hear about this amazing new discovery."

Daniel actually looked up from his work at Jack's words, but he still appeared dubious as if he sensed what was coming.

"And what is that?" he asked resignedly.

"There is this place upstairs that has sunlight and fresh air. I believe it is called 'outdoors.' You might want to check it out sometime."

Daniel rolled his eyes, hefted a dramatic sigh and went back to his work.

"Well, I tried," Jack said with a shrug. "But you'd better at least come up for some dinner or you'll have bigger problems on your hands than me. The most frightening force in the universe: a pissed-off Carter."

Daniel snorted, but waved Jack off. "I know, I know. I'll be there," he promised.

And Jack knew he would be. Daniel never missed the evening meal. They always gathered at the end of the day. It was their new unspoken ritual and Jack wondered if it was some sort of pledge to stick together. Maybe they just still needed the reassurance.

"Jack!" Daniel exclaimed and Jack realized he was still staring.

Jack threw up his hands and pushed off the door frame. "I'm going, I'm going!" he said with a smile.

* * *

It was almost dusk when Jack finally stumbled upon Sam in probably the last place he expected. She was sitting on a rock a short distance away from a partially finished home on the edge of a small body of water.

Jack was acutely aware that this was the first time he had been completely alone with her in the weeks since Earth. He was annoyed to find that he didn't quite know what to say to her. So he just settled down on the rock next to her.

She turned and smiled softly at him and Jack felt something inside him ease. "Hi," she said.

Jack returned the smile. "Hey. Whatcha doing?"

"Thinking."

"Nice to know some things don't change," Jack quipped.

Sam rolled her eyes, but otherwise ignored the comment. "I think the crops are going to do well."

"Yeah. Everything seems to be working out."

"People seem…happy," Sam said awkwardly.

Jack caught something in her tone that made him look at her more closely. "You think they shouldn't be?"

Sam shrugged and looked away from him. She stared at the water for long moments. "This isn't Minnesota," she eventually said. "It won't ever be."

"No, it's not," Jack softly confirmed, wondering where exactly she was going with this. "Does it matter?"

"I don't know," Sam said honestly, turning to pin him with her gaze. "Does it?"

Her eyes were curious and slightly uncertain and Jack got the feeling that she was asking about more than just the cabin. He reached out and took her hand in his, his fingers gently tracing the lines on her palm.

"I don't think there is any shame in being happy," Jack eventually said. "There's nothing wrong with living our lives."

Sam's hand curled around his fingers in response. "I know," she said softly, her eyes warm. "I just needed to hear you say it."

And it was only at that moment he realized she'd been waiting for him to give her some sort of sign that this was really going to happen with them, a sort of permission to stop simply surviving and start living.

"I brought you something," Sam said before Jack could recover enough to say anything.

For the first time, Jack noticed a package carefully balanced next to her. She pulled her hand from his and offered the box to Jack, a nervous smile playing at her lips. "Consider it your first housewarming gift…Jack."

Jack looked at her in surprise and carefully lifted the top off the box. Securely nestled inside were two fishing reels. Jack stared at them for long moments, not sure what to say.

"The rest of the gear is up at the cabin," Sam said, filling the awkward silence. "I just thought…."

Jack snapped the lid shut, cutting her off. Sam had to have thought of this before they left Earth. Jack himself hadn't really taken the time to think of personal objects in those last days. He couldn't quite believe she'd done it and he had no idea how to express exactly how much her thoughtfulness meant to him.

"Jack?" Sam asked uncertainly, when he still hadn't said anything.

Jacked reached for her hand again, squeezing her fingers tight. "Thank you," he said hoarsely with as much raw sincerity as he could muster.

"Sure," Sam said softly.

Jack finally looked up to see Sam sitting in the fading light with his new home on the shores of a pond behind her. She was right. This wasn't Minnesota. But maybe it could be…something.

Jack almost reverently put the package down and then pulled Sam closer, leaning in to kiss her for the first time in weeks. Her mouth was as sweet and warm as he remembered and she unhesitatingly leaned into him, her hand threading into his hair. When he finally pulled back he smiled softly at Sam, carefully studying her face.

He wondered if one day she would be able to pick up a piece of technology without dark shadows clouding her eyes. Or if he could forgive himself for abandoning his people. If he could, somehow, be the one to make her happy.

Jack didn't know. But he could always hope.

Jack brought Sam's palm up to his lips. He felt the pulse of her heartbeat through the softness of her skin and when she met his gaze, he saw the beginnings of acceptance shining in her eyes.

None of them had forgotten and maybe they never would, but as Jack sat gently memorizing Sam's skin inch by inch in the alien forest, he was glad that they were at least given the chance to try.

And maybe one day they would both come to see that this wasn't an ending at all, but simply another beginning.

-The End-


End file.
